Yesterday – the 21st of March. For most of my teen years, the 21st was an important day because it was the birthday of my best friend Cora. Into my twenties it was still important because it is the birthday of my sister in law Cora (yes, the same Cora, I don’t have two significant Coras in my life). But things changed for my family on March 21st 7 years ago and, I am sad for Cora that her birthday will always bear the mark of being the same day as my dad died.
Anyone Have Some Spare Change?
Oh man, change can be really hard (like we didn’t already know that). I mean I am sure there are things about myself that I changed without even knowing, but when I am trying to make a concentrated effort to do something new or quit doing something I’ve done for a long time, it can certainly seem like the odds are stacked against me.
Lent, So Far
For Lent I gave up watching TV and movies by myself. When I first thought of this as my Lenten activity, I felt almost sick and nearly ignored it. I heard myself saying it was just too much, too much a part of what I do every day, how could I fill the void? Then I realized this reaction was the very reason I needed to give it up. I decided that I needed this and that the main purpose would be to free up the majority of my non work time to concentrate on things far more important than the stuff I watch on a weekly basis. It would keep me from “hiding” in my room, wasting my time. I was also hoping it would help carve out some space for me to focus on my relationship with God (something that has sadly been lacking for quite some time). In doing os I figured I’d have so much extra time I was bound to get back into blogging…. not so much. I’ve pretty much scrambled around busying myself and doing anything besides spending constructive time with God or myself.
You’re Richer Than You Think
Over this last week I have been thinking a lot about the luxuries of life that we so often overlook or take for granted. The things that we don’t even realize ARE luxuries until we are without them.
Esteem
Was I not told when I was young that I should care more about myself than about what others think of me?
It’s Been A While
It has been far too long. I really feel the urge to write bubbling up inside me tonight.
I don’t know what the deal is with my lack of writing. I think about blogging a lot but don’t do it. I think some of it is just laziness but I also think I am muted by my own perceived inadequacies.
Even now, though I want to write, I don’t know how to express all I want. I also think I want to write instead of dealing with things in real life. Like maybe I can censor and disguise my thoughts here and get out what I want in some little way without any actual confrontation. Maybe I can polish up my words and my life until they shine so bright that the truth won’t cause any pain or discomfort.
Keep on Runnin’
So I am 5 weeks into a 10 week “Learn to Run” program at the Running Room. I have actually considered doing this or years but lack of time, money and motivation have got in my way. Once I started losing weight because of my change in diet I decided I needed to add some exercise into the mix. Not only did I want to aid the weight loss but I also knew I needed to make myself get out of the house more and I was also hoping maybe I would meet some new people since I seem to be lacking in friends these days.
In the Genes
I have always thought that I am a fair mix between my parents. I mean, I am myself, I know that, and neither Mom nor Dad tried to make me like them (at least not in overt controlling ways), but I can see how I have bit of both of them in me. Continue reading
Silence is Deafening
My current job will be done as of September 1st. This means I need to find something else. I am torn between continuing to look for a ministry job and just finding a job for now, were I can be somewhat satisfied and look into volunteering for the kind of work I would like to be paid for.
A Long, Unintentionally Oddly Formatted Post
For the last 4 weeks I have been on a cleanse. I hate saying that because I always think people assume I am talking about one of those weird ones where you only eat peanut butter or drink lemon juice (at least I have always thought they sounded weird). What I am doing the cleanse for is because I think I have an overgrowth of yeast in my system called Candida. There is a wide range of symptoms that can relate to this overgrowth and it is said that this is one of the most misdiagnosed things, it affects a lot of people but doctors rarely catch it.
The Chasm Never Bridged 