Over this last week I have been thinking a lot about the luxuries of life that we so often overlook or take for granted. The things that we don’t even realize ARE luxuries until we are without them.
It all started with the birth of my nephew Iain. During the time leading up to his birth I was happy for my brother and his wife, but honestly, I didn’t give it too much thought because I figured, hey, they live in China, its not like I am gonna see the kid that much in his lifetime. It was like the whole thing was a little unreal. It wasn’t until I got the text from my mom saying that my sister in law was in labour that it really struck me, I was soon to be an aunty! I went to bed that night with no confirmation of my nephews birth, but I knew the next morning as I opened my computer that there would likely be news. I was right, little Iain Alexander McLachlan Wu Yi An had been born. I has tears in my eyes and suddenly, even though I was miles away, I felt an instant connection to this new little life. During that day at work I made sure to show anyone who would look, the pictures of Iain, I was so proud, but then I got sad. Sad that it would likely be many months if not a year or more until I would actually get to hold him. Sad that I there was a chance that I would never get to be a real part of his life. These thoughts lead to my other brother and sister in law, about how they have moved away and how there is a possibility we will never live in the same city again. We may never attend the same church or be able to come over to each other’s houses for dinner any night that suits, or I may never be able to call my brother over and ask him to do some “man job” for me, like we once did. And these thoughts lead me into the brevity of life. It got me to thinking about my dad and how I still miss him and wish he was here with us experiencing these life events with us.
All this separation and loss made me look at myself and others around me and see how much we take for granted. Like the cliche says- we don’t know what we have till it is gone. So many people, myself included, indulge themselves in anger, greed, complacency and self-righteousness because it is a luxury there to be taken. People choose to get mad at others, to withhold their time, love, affection and forgiveness, because it is an option. We choose to waste our minutes, days and hours because we forget that we don’t have these things forever. We forget that there is a limit to the time we get to see our friends and families. A limit to the amount of times we get to risk, love, laugh, grow, learn and change. A limited number of chances to be better people for ourselves and for those around us. A limited times we can try to make wrong situations right. Instead we get caught up in our fears, hurts, and need to be right.
Of course, I am seeing this because I don’t have the option of not spending time with my nephew, brothers and sister in laws, or my dad. China, Vancouver and Heaven are just too far away. I am seeing this because I am experiencing the loss and the distance. My lack has highlighted the missed opportunities and the possibility for more misses if I don’t change some of the things I am doing or the attitudes I have. Maybe I can’t have everything I want all the time, loss and unforeseen circumstances are inevitable, but I can choose to live differently in the time I do have; to do the best for others in the relationships I can be present in. And for those who aren’t close, while it is hard and sad, I can do better there to stay connected and involved.
I realize this is all easier said than done but, I do want to try. At least I have acknowledged the loss and pain so that I can try to get some perspective for the here and now, to realize that I do have everyday life luxuries that I don’t want to forget about.
Oh, and here is a picture of this proud aunt’s nephew Iain
